It’s May 2nd and it’s grey and wet outside but inside there’s sunshine. I’m sitting in my pyjama bottoms, jumper and puffa grinning to myself like an idiot cos I’ve just seen that my book has gone on sale on Amazon. Well, pre-sale, which I don’t really understand the point of… but who cares? My book exists on Amazon and you can order it now. It comes out properly on 6th September.
As many of you know this has all taken much much much longer than expected. I started the blog in January 2014 and after a year and a bit of craziness (jumping out of planes, stand up comedy, naked modelling, general breakdowns) I finished in May 2015 and was all set to write the award-winning best-selling book in a couple of months.
WELL, THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN.
It’s now May 2018 and I’ve still been doing edits on the book into this week. This baby has been written and re-written, and re-written some more. I’ve actually lost count of how many re-writes there have been but as Mary Oliver, beautiful American poet, says ‘Things take the time they take’ and all that matters is that we get there in the end. Which we did.
A couple of weeks at London Book Fair forty odd people gathered to celebrate my book. There were editors from Spain, France, Lithuania, Brazil, America, Canada, Israel… Mum was my date. It was a gorgeous night, with mum chatting to the Danish editor about how much time she’s spent in Copenhagen: ‘I watch Borgen every week!’
There was a point when Kris, my UK editor, was giving a speech about the book and Mum interrupted him, saying ‘Oh no, I wish I was recording this. I know I’m going to get home and not remember all the nice things you’ve said.’
Everyone laughed – but things feel a bit like that right now. So many nice things are happening and people are saying such nice things that it’s hard to take it in. Right now we are up to 22 International book deals, and I think it’s being translated into 18 languages so far. It’s ridiculous and wonderful and beautiful and exactly what I’d dreamt of.
All through the book writing process I always believed in the book but I did not believe in myself. I worried that I was fucking up this great idea that I was lucky enough to have had. In Big Magic, Liz Gilbert, reckons the ideas are like their own entities that fly around the world and land on people. It’s then your responsibility to run with it – or not. It all sounds a bit kooky but I kind of agree. When I had the idea for Help Me! it came to me fully formed – I had the title, could see the book cover, totally knew that it could be great… I just had to do it.
Alas, the ‘just doing it’ was WAY WAY WAY harder then I’d envisioned.
But I did not give up and I have had so many people believing in me, tolerating me and financially funding me through the last four odd years. It sounds like the hugest cliché but I would not have finished the book without them – and you. It feels like now is the time to reap the rewards and I hope that we can enjoy the success.
We can do big, crazy good things, it turns out. You might drive yourself and everyone around in slightly insane in the process but then there are moments like today when it feels like it’s all been worth it. And to celebrate, I’m going to have a shower, get dressed and buy a sticky bun.
Thank you for sticking with me though all this. Good times ahead.
Love and hugs