Category Archives: Rejection therapy

YOUR CHALLENGE: Smile at three strangers today

 

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This is just a PS to The Greek Part Two. (So The Greek Part Three?)

Thank you so much to everybody who sent me such lovely messages yesterday, it really is the coolest thing to hear from you. It makes my day.

It seems that the line that resonated with most people was when the Greek told me that he approaches a girl if she smiles three times and me realising that I NEVER smile at men.

My conclusion: I’ve spent my life thinking the girls who get the guys do so because they’re prettier and skinnier – but maybe they’re just smiling more!’

But it’s hard.

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Rejection therapy: ask to ring church bells at a wedding

 

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My lovely friend Adrian got married at the weekend to an equally lovely girl called Stephanie. For many years Adrian had a checklist of what his perfect woman would be like and despite countless speed dates/internet dates, he never found one that ticked off everything.

We worried that he would never meet his perfect woman and that his standards were unrealistically high. Until he met Stephanie. I wasn’t there but the story goes that the first time he took her to meet his friends they went to a bar that played hip hop and served ribs. She ate the ribs and knew the lyrics to every hip hop track that came on.

Our friends’ words to Adrian were simple: ‘Marry her.’

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The Greek. Part Two.

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So I saw the Greek again and it was lovely. We went to a pub in Hampstead (a pretty, old part of London) and then got dinner. He paid. I don’t know if this makes me a crappy person but this kind of thing now means a lot to me – not because I want a man to pay my way but because it feels like a sign of old-fashioned respect.

Just as we did the first time we met, we chatted for hours. He is clever and well read and a very good listener too. It was easy and he made me laugh.

I won’t go into the ins and outs of all our conversation because I’m not sure he’d like that but he said some very nice things, which made me feel embarrassed at the time but which I ran over and over in my head when I got home.

He said that the day before I came up to him in the coffee shop he’d been talking to a friend about his ideal woman. Then ‘this beautiful woman’ walked up to his table and seemed to be everything he had on his list. ‘And that was just your appearance. Then we started talking and it got even better. I could not believe my luck,’ he said.

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Day Two Rejection – ask for a discount in a shop

This one is short and sweet. Yesterday I went into a phone store to get a new charger. I told the three-year-old assistant hovering by the phones what I needed. He grabbed one and led me to the till where I struck up a bit of witty repartee:

Me: I don’t know what I do with them, I keep buying them and leaving them places…

Him: Silent bar a look that seemed to say ‘Madam, I could not care where you leave them, why are you talking to me?’

Me: Anyway, I’m really good customer, is there any chance of a discount?  

Him: A look of panic. He wasn’t expecting this. He pauses for a second then: ‘Er, no madam, unfortunately I’m not able to do that.’

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Day One Rejection – chatting up a stranger in a coffee shop

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Well, it turns out that the stars collided, the Universe intervened and the self-help Gods came out to test me after I did my intro post to Rejection Therapy yesterday.

They made me start this challenge with the big one: being rejected by a man. My worst nightmare. Although the fact that I imagine men rejecting me every time I see a guy I like means that it’s not so much a nightmare as a virtual reality.

Anyway, I was in a coffee shop when I wrote yesterday’s post. After I’d finished writing I was wasting time on Facebook, when a good-looking man walked in. When I say good-looking, he’s my current version of good looking – scruffy, beardy and intellectual looking.

And it wasn’t the first time I’d seen him.

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Let rejection therapy begin!

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Right, I’m back and ready for my next self-help challenge: Rejection Therapy. Now I’m bending the rules on this one a bit because it’s not actually a self-help book, more of a self-help game, but I’ve wanted to do it ever since I read about it a few years ago. Actually, I take that back, I haven’t actually wanted to do it because it sounds horrible but I know that it would be a very good thing for me to do. So here I am.

Rejection therapy is the brainchild of a Canadian man called Jason Comely (http://rejectiontherapy.com). The aim of the game is simple: YOU MUST GET REJECTED ONCE A DAY BY ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. Not try to get rejected or attempt to get rejected but actually get rejected.

Being rejected can come in many forms: You could ask someone out and they say no (puke, puke, puke), you could ask for a discount in a shop and they say no (cringe, cringe, cringe) or you could ask for a pay-rise/promotion at work and have it turned down (yikes)…

Putting yourself in a situation where you expect to get rejected but don’t, doesn’t count, you have to keep going until you get rejected.

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