Could you go seven days without thinking anything negative about yourself, about your situation, about other people? Could you manage NOT to get pissed off on your journey to work, NOT panic at your phone bill and NOT worry about the future?
That’s what I’m doing right now. It’s something Tony calls a 7 DAY MENTAL DIET.
He reckons that the quality of our thoughts is the quality of our lives – and so if we have crappy thoughts, even if we live in a lovely house, with a lovely family, and have a lovely job – it’s going to feel crappy.
This morning I set my alarm for 6.30am and I actually got up. No, really I did. No snoozing, no groaning, no anything except getting up.
Then I sat on my bed did something called PRIMING for ten minutes (see below).
THEN I went for a very brisk walk around the block before coming back and drinking about four glasses of water with lemon (I had coffee too) and dancing around the kitchen to Calvin Harris and that Radioactive song I’m obsessed with. I literally jumped up and down, putting my hands up in the air. The cat looked truly confused.
At 7.40, a time when I’m usually still under my duvet, I was at my computer writing an article that was finished by 10.30am, when I made myself a green juice.
If I was any more efficient, I would be running the country. I don’t recognise myself anymore.
Tony Robbins, aka my boyfriend, reckons that there are six basic human needs that drive absolutely everything we do. Here they are:
Need 1: Certainty/Comfort
Our need to feel in control and secure. Need 2: Uncertainty/Variety
Our need for variety, surprises. Need 3: Significance
We all need to feel important, special, unique, or needed – some of us get a feeling of significance from our work, some do it by having a flash car or by getting a thousand Twitter followers. You can get significance by having more or bigger problems than anybody else (moi) and criminals get it by the attention they get for their crimes. Need 4: Love & Connection
We all need love but many of us are terrified of it and settle for connection, through our romantic relationships, friendships, our pets, walking through nature. Need 5: Growth
If you’re not growing, you’re dying – whether that’s growing your business, your relationships, your education etc. Need 6: Contribution
‘Life’s not about me; it’s about we,’ says Tony, who reckons that giving is what life’s all about.
Bonjour, Happy Easter and Happy spring time. The sun is shining in North London and all is well with the world. I’ve done my march around Hampstead Heath, put a load of green stuff in a blender and drunk it, and now, instead of having veins full red wine, if you cut me you’ll find warm water with lemon.
Yes, my body is a dilapidated temple currently undergoing renovation.
One of Tony Robbins biggest things is how important physical health is to every aspect of your life. If you don’t wake up with energy every day you can do nothing at all. He’s right, of course.
The funny thing about my self-improvement mission is that while I’ve spent the last year and a bit cramming my head full of self-help wisdom, I’ve been cramming my body with booze, sugar and coffee. As a result I’m tired most of the time, have put on a stone and a bit in weight, and my face looks like it belongs on the Pillsbury Dough Boy.
Well, it was a BIG WEEKEND. From Thursday to last night I was under the spell of self-improvement guru TONY ROBBINS. I walked on fire, danced around like a lunatic with 7,500 other people and fell heart-stoppingly in love with the 6ft7 lantern jawed self-irmprovement God.
There was a lot of talk about taking MASSIVE ACTION and getting into a PEAK STATE. Basically the OPPOSITE to my usual approach to life. And as much as I would have liked to take the p*ss out of it all, I couldn’t. He was brilliant. It was brilliant.
I got home last night around 10pm, so I still need a bit of time to assimilate it all. I’ll put up a post on Wednesday. For now, a belated post to wrap up DATING MONTH.
Huge thank you for all the clever, honest and wise comments to my last post which asked does Happiness = Marriage + Kids?
Do I really want to meet someone? Do I want to have children? Do you have to get married and have children to be happy? Will I regret it if I don’t? Is the fact that it hasn’t happened by now a sign that actually that’s not my path? Or is my independence just a symptom of my fear?
At the end of the post Kara made this comment:
Can I ask, who do you hang around with? Are you getting a real cross section of views in your life? I ask because you are wondering things like, Can you be happy without children, Will you regret not getting married/ having kids etc. It feels like you’re stuck in this groove that happiness = husband and children. That’s not the only way!
Maybe find and talk to a good range of people who have done all different things (eg older and childless, in thirties and single, with children, thought having them but didn’t, and so on). I bet some will have regrets but most of them will have just made the most of life and are happy.
Bonjour, bonjour. It’s a rainy Monday here in London and I am feeling about as romantic as a cabbage. I’ve taken the last week off dating – no Tinder meet ups or even messages – and it’s been a relief. I actually think I’m going to delete Tinder – I don’t like it anymore. It’s a bit of a head f**k. I might just stick to the old fashioned way of hoping to meet someone in real life.
And weirdly that seems to be happening. A friend of a friend asked for my number in the pub on Friday night and earlier last week I got asked out by a guy on the tube. He might have been drunk – and possibly on a few other substances – but hey, it’s still nice to be asked!
Well, shock horror it turns out that writing about a dating month is complicated. It’s one thing writing honestly about myself but it’s another thing writing about other people.
Even though I’ve changed details, the guys concerned would recognise themselves if they came across this blog and I don’t know how good it would make them feel. It wouldn’t make me feel good to have someone talking in public about my hair, my clothes, my job, my money.
It didn’t make me good to be the kind of person writing about that stuff.
While some of the guys knew about my dating month, others didn’t, including the Mad Scientist.
My friend wants to set me up with his friend. This friend (the one I’m to be set up with) is 37, an artist and musician and works in a coffee shop. It is really really awful that my first thought is that I can’t face going out with a broke Peter Pan? Is that very judgemental, superficial and money-grabbing of me?
My last boyfriend was also an aspiring musician. He was talented and we got on so well in many ways – we could talk for hours, had the same sense of humour and similar morals – but the money thing became a real issue. I hated the fact that I ended up paying for a lot and that he seemed happy to let me.