Last night I got the train from my mum’s house in the burbs back to my friend’s house in London. When I arrived, I walked past a bar and I told myself that I deserved a drink after the crappy day I’d had. I told myself that one fall off the wagon would not be the end of the world. I went in.
This is what I knew that a glass of red wine would do for me:
1) it would be an instant way to change the way I was feeling
2) It would allow me to feel properly angry and sorry for myself.
3) Then by the bottom of the first glass I’d feel calmer and better and things would matter less, it would be like being in a helicopter and looking down.
BUT THE FUNNIEST THING HAPPENED. I walked up to the bar and was fully prepared to ask for a glass of red but it wouldn’t come out. Instead I said ‘A tap water please’ and sat down and drank that. My mouth would not say Red Wine. A real first.
I then went home and made a giant cheesy pasta. With cream. Comfort eating has replaced my comfort drinking. If you can add cheese, chocolate or cream to it, I’ll do it and then add double. Oh well, f**k It…
PS the bad mood continues but I’m going to write a post on that tomorrow. Today is not the day. Thank you to everyone who has shared their grumps and sent supportive emails. Big congratulations to Louize and Vickie on the 30 Day Challenge Progress.
Today Louize is finishing her 30 at 30 (which involves nothing but whole foods, no sugar, booze, carbs etc for 30 days) and Vickie has been meditating her heart out on an Oprah course and really feeling the benefit from it – that and running, and clearing out her in-box every day.
If you’re not doing so well, no worries. Just get back on the horse if you want to or don’t if you don’t. That’s the F**K It Approach to the Seven Habits.