Tag Archives: get the guy

Date number 2 with the Mad Scientist

Screen Shot 2015-03-02 at 11.35.53Last Thursday morning I stood in front of a boardroom of business people and told them I needed a boyfriend. No, really, I did.

My friend Josh had invited me to this networking business breakfast he goes to, saying I might get some copywriting work out of it.

I don’t really want any copywriting work but according to Matthew Hussey we must say ‘yes’ to every invitation because you never know where it will lead and who you will meet. It also gets you out of your comfort zone and used to interacting with people.

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My date with the mad scientist

Screen Shot 2015-02-23 at 12.02.53Well, it happened. My Tinder dating has officially begun. I had my first date on Saturday with a guy who described himself as ‘6-ft Scouser with a taste for the absurd.’  His profile pics attested to that – there were shots of him wearing a comedy moustache and wig, pics of him in what looked like a Flamenco outfit at a festival…

None of this is my kind of thing. I’m too uptight for fancy dress. And I find absurd stuff kind of stupid and childish.

But then there was a nice normal smiley picture and I could see he lived locally so I just swiped anyway.

We had a bit of texting at the end of last week.

He told me he was good at making burgers and doesn’t like lazy people. I told him I’m a terrible cook and am very lazy. He said he admired my honesty. I told him I liked burgers. Continue reading

Hello, my name’s Marianne and I love you

Screen Shot 2015-02-21 at 12.42.25I don’t like this dating business. I haven’t even gone on one and already I’m in strung out and tired. I don’t like strangers pinging messages to my phone every day and I don’t like that I’m going out to meet them – I feel anxious, jumpy and irritable.

I now have four dates lined up – one tonight, one tomorrow night, one on Wednesday and one next Sunday.

I keep thinking, what if they don’t like me? What if they say ‘you don’t look anything like your pictures?’ – which, of course, I don’t. I have put up BY FAR MY BEST PICTURES. I know that this is part of the game but seriously, I could be done under trade descriptions.

I’ve spent the last few days hating my teeth and my bum and my hair. I’ve been looking in the mirror and finding the ways I am wanting. I am thinking things such as: ‘why are your eyes so weird and puffy at the moment? Who would want to look into them?’ I’ve been looking at my lumpy arse and thighs and thinking the same thing – ‘who the hell would want them? Why have you let yourself go?’ etc etc.

I am already setting myself up for rejection. It makes me want to cry.

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I’m married, does that freak you out? My first week on Tinder

onlinedatingSo as of last Saturday morning, when I woke up feeling hungover and embarrassed about the whole barman moment, I am on Tinder.

It’s a revelation – this is where all the single men of London are! Posting photographs of themselves with tops, without tops, with smiling faces and moody black-and-white photo faces, in the pub, up a mountain, cuddling dogs, kids or glam girls on a night out – a pic that says, look, women love me! I’m a catch!

It’s online shopping for a boyfriend – and the choice is big. Almost overwhelmingly so.

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I told him I had a crush on him…

gingerI have a crush on the guy working in our local pub. Last Thursday I walked past and could see that he was working. I walked in. On my own. And sat at the bar.

This to me, felt as daring as the stand-up comedy and jumping out of plane combined.

This guy is no Brad Pitt or George Clooney – but he’s tall and twinkle and smiley and ever since he started working there at Christmas, I’ve liked him. Which, of course, means that I’ve been too embarrassed to talk/smile/interact with him in any way. Give me a guy I don’t fancy and I’ll chat away for hours. Somebody I even half like, though, and I have no choice but to totally ignore him. Obviously.

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