Tag Archives: single

Does happiness = Marriage + kids?

Screen Shot 2015-03-19 at 10.36.50In my last post I posed these questions:

Do I really want to meet someone? Do I want to have children? Do you have to get married and have children to be happy? Will I regret it if I don’t? Is the fact that it hasn’t happened by now a sign that actually that’s not my path? Or is my independence just a symptom of my fear?

At the end of the post Kara made this comment:

Can I ask, who do you hang around with? Are you getting a real cross section of views in your life? I ask because you are wondering things like, Can you be happy without children, Will you regret not getting married/ having kids etc. It feels like you’re stuck in this groove that happiness = husband and children. That’s not the only way!

Maybe find and talk to a good range of people who have done all different things (eg older and childless, in thirties and single, with children, thought having them but didn’t, and so on). I bet some will have regrets but most of them will have just made the most of life and are happy.

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Date number 2 with the Mad Scientist

Screen Shot 2015-03-02 at 11.35.53Last Thursday morning I stood in front of a boardroom of business people and told them I needed a boyfriend. No, really, I did.

My friend Josh had invited me to this networking business breakfast he goes to, saying I might get some copywriting work out of it.

I don’t really want any copywriting work but according to Matthew Hussey we must say ‘yes’ to every invitation because you never know where it will lead and who you will meet. It also gets you out of your comfort zone and used to interacting with people.

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My date with the mad scientist

Screen Shot 2015-02-23 at 12.02.53Well, it happened. My Tinder dating has officially begun. I had my first date on Saturday with a guy who described himself as ‘6-ft Scouser with a taste for the absurd.’  His profile pics attested to that – there were shots of him wearing a comedy moustache and wig, pics of him in what looked like a Flamenco outfit at a festival…

None of this is my kind of thing. I’m too uptight for fancy dress. And I find absurd stuff kind of stupid and childish.

But then there was a nice normal smiley picture and I could see he lived locally so I just swiped anyway.

We had a bit of texting at the end of last week.

He told me he was good at making burgers and doesn’t like lazy people. I told him I’m a terrible cook and am very lazy. He said he admired my honesty. I told him I liked burgers. Continue reading

Hello, my name’s Marianne and I love you

Screen Shot 2015-02-21 at 12.42.25I don’t like this dating business. I haven’t even gone on one and already I’m in strung out and tired. I don’t like strangers pinging messages to my phone every day and I don’t like that I’m going out to meet them – I feel anxious, jumpy and irritable.

I now have four dates lined up – one tonight, one tomorrow night, one on Wednesday and one next Sunday.

I keep thinking, what if they don’t like me? What if they say ‘you don’t look anything like your pictures?’ – which, of course, I don’t. I have put up BY FAR MY BEST PICTURES. I know that this is part of the game but seriously, I could be done under trade descriptions.

I’ve spent the last few days hating my teeth and my bum and my hair. I’ve been looking in the mirror and finding the ways I am wanting. I am thinking things such as: ‘why are your eyes so weird and puffy at the moment? Who would want to look into them?’ I’ve been looking at my lumpy arse and thighs and thinking the same thing – ‘who the hell would want them? Why have you let yourself go?’ etc etc.

I am already setting myself up for rejection. It makes me want to cry.

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