SWEARING, NUDITY AND INTERNATIONAL BOOK DEALS… 2014’s highlights…

Hello! Before we get stuck into 2015, I thought I’d do a kind of sum up of last year, just for kicks. I realise that I can be very negative, so I’m going to BIG MYSELF UP and focus on the VERY COOL stuff that happened as well as well as acknowledging the moments where I kind of lost it…

So are you ready? Here goes:

Screen Shot 2015-01-01 at 01.22.54January – Started with me chatting up strangers on the tube, getting naked in public, doing stand-up comedy (terrifying, awful, amazing!! I’m a hero!) and jumping out of a plane (never, ever, ever again) in a Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway extravaganza.  Susan Jeffers self help classic advises doing one scary thing a day. I do. With bells on. A triumphant – if nerve shattering – start. The Daily Mail ran a big feature about my project which led to interview requests from BBC Berkshire and er, China. Hurrah! This is amazing and exciting!

2014-02-23 18.38.58February – Nothing feels amazing and exciting. I am £12,000 in debt! This is awful! How did I not realise this before? I am a terrible person. But Money A Love Story by Kate Northrup suggests that it’s because I think I’m a terrible person that I’m broke, if you don’t value yourself, the world won’t value you either. Kate suggests weekly money dates with your bank statements, complete with lipstick and high heels. Really. But good news! After the Daily Mail article I get a real life literary agent! This blog is going to be a book! I’m going to be rich and famous! Drinks on me!

2014-03-27 11.34.40

March – The Secret! Do I believe that you really can have anything you want in life? Do I not believe? Rhonda Byrne’s controversial book still has me confused but I did sit in a flash Mercedes and do a Vision Board:biggest.vision

 

 

 

 

 

2014-05-05 12.03.32April/May – Rejection Therapy – awful and brilliant in equal measure…. I found it so hard to get rejected every day (the idea is that you realise rejection doesn’t kill you and that you don’t get rejected half as much as you think) that I pretty much stayed in bed for April and made myself try again in May. I chat up the Greek in the coffee shop (it took me 4 hours to get the courage to talk to him), played tennis with strangers and got refused free coffee at Starbucks… I learn that nine times out of ten rejection is in my head and that people are LOVELY.

June – Praise be for F**K It, my favourite book so far! John C Parkin reckons that F**K it ‘Is the Western Expression of the Eastern Philosophy of accepting and letting go.’ Yup. Swearing is deep and fun. I got to Italy and say F**K It to worrying about work, about money, about my figure. I also say F**K It to a UK book deal… I know, weird. It just didn’t feel right. I trust my gut but then fall into a spiral of self- doubt about it (obvs).2014-06-21 16.15.03

July – I try to talk to angels and fail. I start drinking. I absolutely hate angel therapy. Hate it. But amazing news! I might have passed on the UK deal but I have a Brazilian book deal! Who’d have thunk it?! Rio here we come..

August – I may be on the brink of international authordom but I’m in financial meltdown. The reality of my overdrafts and credit cards can no longer be ignored. I spend August taking on all the freelance work I can. No self-help. Just self-loathing. But I do get asked to go on ITV’s This Morning television in the middle of all this – exciting!! My mother tells me my mouth seemed dry (?!) but I loved it!  I could have stayed on the sofa all day.Screen Shot 2014-08-04 at 07.44.45The day after my television debut I go back to hating myself. Ridiculous.

September –  Attempt to get back on the self-help wagon with Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. It’s about being vulnerable and intimate. I find the ideas so horrible I promptly get sick. I take to my bed for two weeks. More self-loathing about why I get sick and about how much I’m messing up this project and how behind schedule I am. I lie in bed thinking about everything I’ve done wrong in my life. Fun.

October – Continue with Brene Brown. Sort of. Write posts in which I probably share too much and I feel quite embarrassed and exposed. But the Huffington Posts asks me to blog for them – hurrah! My first post is one how self-help is driving me crazy. And it is. Nobody should think about themselves this much. It’s just not good.

Screen Shot 2014-11-12 at 09.11.11November – I try to slap myself into action with the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People! Politicians have read it and it contains venn diagrams. This is serious! There’s only one problem, I struggle to get through one paragraph. My head is fried from self-help.  Wonderful stuff is happening – The Irish Independent newspaper runs a big write up of my story and I go on Irish radio but the cracks are showing… I’m not a Highly Effective person, I’m a mess.  My thoughts won’t switch off – and they’re all bad. I get as far as Habit Two before I finally admit defeat. Cue five weeks off.

December – Stay in Ireland, eating, sleeping and watching The Big Bang Theory. I eat a lot of scones and have a lot of baths. More good news, The Irish Independent ask me to do a regular weekly column on happiness and Good Housekeeping magazine runs a piece on my Top 10 self-help books. This is all fabulous stuff but I’m too crazed to celebrate the success. I come home for Christmas and slowly, slowly become semi-normal again.

And so here we are now.

When I look back on last year, it’s clear to me how much AMAZING, AMAZING STUFF HAPPENED. Before last year I had never been on television or radio! I had never received emails from China asking if I was free to do an interview! I had never had a hot shot literary agent and international book deals!  I jumped out of a plane and did stand-up comedy for God’s sake! I got naked. In public! I did stuff that most people run a mile from!

This is all UTTERLY BRILLIANT and I feel sick about how little I let myself enjoy it. Despite all the self-help and the achievements, the voice inside my heads still told me ‘I’m crap, I’m messing up, People think you’re stupid, I’m not doing enough…’. This voice is so strong it can ruin almost anything.

THIS HAS TO STOP. If it doesn’t, I can read the wisest words in the world and make all sorts of changes to my life, but it’s not going to make a difference. Which is why, for now, I’m pressing pause on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

All weekend I kept trying to pick it back up but my head just didn’t want to take it in. Instead I found myself picking up the Power of Now instead. I had tried to read this book by Eckhart Tolle last Easter and I thought it was impenetrable waffle. This weekend it read like pure truth, it seemed to articulate everything that’s been going on in my head over the last few months… It is exactly what I need right now, so on Thursday I’ll do an introduction to it and then off we got to live and enjoy THE NOW.

LOVE TO YOU ALL.

MX

PS – I think that it’s very easy for all of us to focus on what we’re lacking rather than what we’ve achieved… I read a piece in January’s Red magazine that was brilliant. It was all about celebrating the little things – like sorting out your music, sorting out your cupboards, signing up for online dating… I thought it was lovely and true. It’s so so so draining to keep thinking of what  hasn’t been done, so much more energising to celebrate the small (and big) victories. Onwards. x

 

14 thoughts on “SWEARING, NUDITY AND INTERNATIONAL BOOK DEALS… 2014’s highlights…

  1. Louize

    I think what you have done is AMAZING – don’t beat yourself up about what you haven’t done because you have done heaps!!!

    Just stop and breathe and tell that wee voice to can it!! We all have one – its good to know someone else has it too

    Imagine what this next year will bring if you achieved all of that last year!!

    xxx

    Reply
  2. Rhilee581

    Happy New Year Marianne!

    Yes, see 2014 was amazing. You got a little bit sick at the end but so what. Look at all the other truly brilliant and fantastic stuff you achieved. More than a lot of people achieve in their whole adult lives and you did it in 365 days! Keep it up, I love reading the blog and I’m sure 2015 will bring even bigger and better things!

    xx

    Reply
  3. Zoë

    Please read this post over throughout 2015 if you start doubting yourself. So many deals, opportunities, exposure, etc. You’ve been succeeding in droves!! Also please post more pics of yourself because you look purty and it makes me happy to see your purty face. xo

    Reply
  4. lonestarsky

    I know it had its down moments but on the whole it sounds like a fantastic year! You achieved so much, infact to be honest no wonder you were in meltdown by the end of it.

    Ooh, I read the Power of Now a few months ago and LOVED it. I’d say that of all the self-help books I’ve read, this is the one that has had the biggest effect on me x

    Reply
  5. Tash

    Mazza that is an amazing year despite the lower points of it! The other thing you have not mentioned is that you’ve kept up with the blog for an entire year!!! which is amazing in itself! (and you’re a fabulous friend!)
    Three cheers!

    Reply
    1. Marianne Power Post author

      I know, David, sorry to disappoint. I’m sure I’ll get there at some point but timing isn’t right now. Happy new Year and thank you very much for the support.

      Reply
  6. Lucie

    Well from my slouch couch when you summarise your year it was incredible. Your honesty and observations are superb to read. Your book summaries are great. I shall start congratulating myself for just getting up! X

    Reply
    1. Marianne Power Post author

      Lucie, Yes! You get up! You get dressed! You go to work! You make people laugh! You’re pretty great from where I’m sitting. xx

      Reply
  7. Danny

    Hi Marianne

    After reading your last couple of posts, I was thinking you need a dose of the power of now. I mentioned it earlier last year, I have read A New Earth by the same author and I’m now part way through the power of now myself, though I haven’t read any of it for a few weeks. I find it very comforting to know that the present moment and now is all that exists, has existed and will ever exist and everything else is just mind made.

    Like you I started reading the power of now a few years ago, was totally confused, didn’t really get it and sometimes found it hard to understand the points that he was trying to get across. After reading several dozen other self help books and doing self help related things I read a new earth and it became much clearer.

    As you may mention in you’re introduction to it, the book is about becoming more conscious, less mind identified and basically becoming a human being instead of a human doing or thinking. The voice in the head (which 99.9% of us have) is referred to as the ego and it can control nearly all of what we do.

    Well done on last year and the progress you made. Happy New Year and good look! 🙂

    PS: Don’t expect to get anywhere by reading the power of now . The words contained within it are a guide or signposts to the only thing that is- NOW.

    Danny xx

    Reply

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