This is just a PS to The Greek Part Two. (So The Greek Part Three?)
Thank you so much to everybody who sent me such lovely messages yesterday, it really is the coolest thing to hear from you. It makes my day.
It seems that the line that resonated with most people was when the Greek told me that he approaches a girl if she smiles three times and me realising that I NEVER smile at men.
My conclusion: I’ve spent my life thinking the girls who get the guys do so because they’re prettier and skinnier – but maybe they’re just smiling more!’
But it’s hard.
Josie, a reader of the blog, wrote yesterday: ‘Being prepared to make that first smile, look people in the eyes & be approachable is scary. I can do it with men I’m not interested in but if I like them I get paralysed.’
Don’t we all?
Those tiny moments of smiling and looking is acknowledging that ‘I like you’ and that makes you vulnerable and open to rejection.
But, of course, if you don’t do the looking and the smiling there’s a good chance you’ll be alone anyway. You’re in effect rejecting yourself.
I suppose what we all have to work towards is liking ourselves enough that a rejection from one person doesn’t leave us lying on the floor. It hurts a bit but we dust ourselves off and move on to the next one. After all, the best pick up artists in the world (and business people, come to that) will tell you it’s a numbers game – with every ‘no’ you’re getting closer to a ‘yes’.
But the whole loving yourself business takes time and work. I read a great book on the subject this summer – LOVE YOURSELF LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT by Kamal Rayikant – and I recommend it. It’s a very quick easy read and made me think about how hard I am on myself.
Another reader, ZR, messaged me about the miraculous effects of just smiling at someone: ‘I’ve only recently started making a concerted effort at eye contact, and the first time I smiled at a dude in a bar, he came right up to me.’
So my challenge to you today is to SMILE AT THREE STRANGERS TODAY.
If they smile back, then hurrah… if not, then hurrah too – you’ve done your rejection therapy for the day. And you’re still lovely. I promise.
LOVE TO YOU ALL AND THANK YOU AGAIN FOR READING.